Sorry for not posting last week. Olivia got the page to me on time, but I was swamped and unable to get it posted before Monday. To give her enough lead time on the rest of the pages (story’s almost over), I decided to postpone updating.
Here we see more scheming from Cardinal Milikin, with his usual cronies: Malukai and Kidjo (the man with beady eyes).
And who do we have in the folder? It looks like the bandit leader from the original Temple series to me….
More to come next Monday!
So Transformers 3 has been filming downtown Chicago, and yesterday they shut down one of the main roads over by my office. We kept hearing the fake gunfire during the shoot, and saw tanks driving around. Perhaps they were robots in disguise…?
Transformers was a favorite cartoon of mine as a kid, and I own (and still watch) the animated movie. So I was naturally excited when they announced a live-action flick. And then the designs came out for the robots. And everything went downhill from there. The first movie was a mess even without the character designs being confusing, and the off-putting jokes stabbing at the original cartoon. What should have been a story about a boy and his first car – who just so happened to be a robot – had subplots about Pentagon hackers, soldiers, and other things that didn’t actually have any bearing on the story. The All-Spark was a mess of a plot device, and the action was – I thought – very boring.
But my opinion didn’t matter, because enough people enjoyed it to make enough money so it warranted a second one. Revenge of the Fallen was even worse than the first movie – and even people who enjoyed it for the action scenes admit that the plot was something 5 children wrote in separate rooms without any way to communicate with each other. It makes NO SENSE what-so-ever. Plus, they added the racist stereotype Autobots, and Devistator with robo-balls. I’ve even poked fun at this in a a comic last year.
I also predicted, based on the commercial success of the second flick, that an inevitable third movie would come to pass. I called this monstrosity “Transformers 3: The Death of my Childhood.” Well, it appears that movie is being filmed right now…and in my own back yard, no less.
Whether you enjoyed the live-action flicks or not is moot. Enough people did that the almighty dollar spoke and wheels started turning and another movie went into production. So I thought it would be fun to say that someone in Hollywood actually heard my cries of terror at this prospect, and decided to stick it to me by filming the thing in my new town.
I would implore you to boycott the movie in a futile effort to stick it to Hollywood and whatever idiot got paid money for writing the sloppy mess that was the first two movies, but I know it wouldn’t make a difference. I’m sure something better will be in theaters, though, so I encourage you to at least go see that first.
The return of Cynthia the TV (which is an LG, which is a brand made in Korea, hence the asian reference). I figured a bickering moment between the TV (picking up on my dating woes) and the PS3 wanting companionship – however unrequited it may be.
To me this can be comedy. It’s also another chance to play with the new camera. It’s also an excuse to get a comic up, because this weekend I’m back in Ann Arbor attending my friend’s wedding.
Enjoy your weekend, everyone! I’m going to get my drink on at the reception and flirt with bride’s maids.
Another profile steal (and the return of shirtless Trevor, sporting my Halloween get-up from 2008 as Spider from Transmetropolitan). But my 3-month experiment on match.com is about to come to a close, and it’s dangerously close to being an expensive failure. Like my previous experiences with online dating, there’s a whole lot of sending e-mails out and never hearing back. I don’t know if the women aren’t reading them, the women are reading them and ignoring me, or the profiles aren’t actually people at all.
In a numbers game, you’d imagine that at least 10% of the people you e-mail would return the message in some way. In the 3 months I’ve been on the site I’ve e-mailed over 300 women. I’ve heard back from 4 people.
1) “We’d be a great match, but I’m moving away tomorrow.” – yeah, she didn’t move. Or she didn’t update her profile location.
2) “My profile is ending, e-mail me here.” – So I do. And I don’t hear back.
3) “My profile is ending, e-mail me here.” – So I do, and we exchange a few e-mails. Then she drops off the face of the earth.
4) “Go f- yourself.” – Her profile then later said that she hated when people didn’t read her profile, which said that she was 33, and then her profile description said that she was 39…go figure.
I’ve met people at conventions and whatnot that have had a lot of success with online dating, and that’s always encouraging to me. So I keep trying. I’m going to give another site a shot, but I’m not encouraged.
I’ve been wracking my brain thinking about where to meet a girl that I’d get along with. I have no desire to meet someone at a bar (or god forbid, a club), but the benefit there is that you at least know that the girl is over 21. But the places where I would meet a girl I think would have similar interests include: conventions, comic stores, book stores, library, or maybe a movie theater.
But the important thing to take away from this is that you’re not going to meet anyone sitting at home playing video games. Going out, putting yourself into a position to meet someone – that’s an important first step. It’s summertime in Chicago, and I’ve been going out to meet single ladies. Sadly, while I’m looking for them at the bookstore, they all appear to be at the beach.
And I sunburn easily.

Movie Review: Toy Story 3 (2010)
Director: Lee Unkrich
Plot: Buzz, Woody, Rex, the Potatoheads, and the rest are back. Well, most of them. You see, Andy’s grown up too and gotten rid of most of his toys. In fact, in a few days he’s about to start his first day at college, and his mom wants him to clean out everything he’s not taking. Some things get stored in the attic, some go to school with him…and some gets thrown out.
Due to a mishap, most of Andy’s toys get put into a donation box and end up at a day care center run by a pink bear named Lotso. But things are not quite as they appear, and it turns out that the toys try to get back to Andy – but are being held at the day care center by Lotso and his goons. Now the toys must band together and escape before Andy goes away to school.
Toy Story was the first fully CG animated movie, and also an amazing flick that touched me in ways I can’t even begin to describe. As someone with an over-active imagination, I played with my toys all the time, right up until college. Even then I was trying to make stop-and-go animated films with my GI Joe figures.
Toy Story 2 was a fun romp through the world that John Lasseter had created, and continued the success of the Pixar animated flicks. Toy Story 3 was the first in the franchise not directed by John Lasseter, which had me a little worried. Let me just say from the word “go” this movie is magical. Absolutely and completely. From the opening sequence (a direct call back to the first flick) to the final shot (I thought freshmen weren’t allowed to have cars on campus), this movie will captivate your imagination and throw you on an emotional / nostalgic rollercoaster that will make you long for the days of playing with your toys – or pull them back out and play with them again.
Your kids will love it, you’ll love it – and it won’t be able to come out to blu-ray fast enough.
Just a warning for more sensitive viewers (ie: the little little kids), the ending of the movie is kind of intense. I was surprised that they got away with the G rating, just based on how intense it was. My buddy and I were like, “oh snap, they’re not going to do this. No way!” And I won’t give away spoilers, but we were practically in tears.
Will this be the final Toy Story movie? I hope not. They certainly left it open for the possibility of more. And I hope it happens. The imaginative world that these characters inhabit reminds me of the adventures that I used to go on with my toys. And I love that nostalgic feeling. And I long to play with my kids and their toys and have those adventures again. Someday.
So after a night of passionate lovemaking, Seymour and Marielle pack up their things and walk off into the sunset.
Xen makes another appearance (without actually appearing) over the walkie talkie. It seems his lucrative gun trade is making a comeback (since he lost his guns and his operation at the end of Hikari). Obviously he’s doing all of this work outside of the Order, since they only use old revolvers and rifles.
This story wraps up in the next few pages, and then I have some announcements to make. Some of them will be good, and others may disappoint some readers. But I assure you that it’s all for the best.
Enjoy the rest of your week, and be sure to stop in for @$$hole! on Wednesday and Friday!
I beat God of War 3 over the holiday weekend, and I guessed it right: Aphrodite is the only god that you don’t kill. Aphrodite is also the only god (or character) in the game that you have sex with. Coincidence, I think not?
The thing that bugs me about a game like God of War is that it’s okay for Kratos to be blood thirsty and so blinded by rage that he rips of heads and holds them for light sources in front of little girls, but he can only have consensual sex. Kratos is the kind of guy who would rape and pillage his way through the world of Greek mythology. He has, in fact, which is (sorry for the spoilers) why he killed his own family blinded by his blood lust and had to go on this revenge story in the first place. He’s his own worst enemy.
So why the sudden moral conscious? Why the reserve? And if he can control that, why can’t he control his urge to gut and behead? I’ve found a character flaw.
But I digress. Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love, and her method to conflict resolution was essentially to bang until the conflict was resolved. In God of War 3, anyway. Not that it actually resolved anything. But there’s also a secondary meaning to the title of the book, which is a very laissez faire hands-off method of conflict resolution. When I thought up the idea, it tickled me a bit.
I’m going to try to review the game soon (God of War 3). There’s a lot of stuff on the list to review. Toy Story 3 among them. But a little patience with me, if you will. Summer is here, and it’s a fun time in the city!
It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a good rant, and this one’s been stewing for a while now. In the time that it takes you to read this strip, enough oil will have spilled out into the Gulf to have fueled your car for two weeks. Possibly more. And they can’t even fix this before August at the earliest? You have got to be kidding me.
Maybe I’m channeling my inner Dennis Leary, but I think that everyone involved with the Gulf spill and all of the big wigs at the company should be forced to clean up the mess without pay for the rest of their lives. And if they’re old or slow, then their family should be “strongly encouraged” to help. This is something that is going to affect that area of the world for the next several centuries. And when they raise the price of gas anytime within the next 3 years, I’ll be sending my bill to BP.
I watched the congressional hearing briefly, which was basically the government saying, “We’re doing something about it, we swear,” but then they let the guy off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. “Don’t do it. Clean it up.” Boo hoo. Congress really doesn’t have any power or control over the situation, so all they can really do is put the guy on national TV and humiliate him for an hour. Makes the elected officials feel like they’re doing something, and makes the people who elected them feel like something’s getting done.
Meanwhile, back in the Gulf, enough oil is spewing out every day to fuel a fleet of trucks for a year.
I exaggerate slightly (only slightly), but the truth of the matter is this: it’s a serious situation, an ecological disaster that will affect the the world for centuries. And that’s not an exaggeration.
And if it hits the Mississippi and makes its way north, then it’s going to seep into the farm belt. And Lake Michigan, the largest fresh water supply on the planet. Granted this is worst case scenario stuff, and I’m hoping that someone gets it together enough to make sure it doesn’t get that far. But it has seeped into the marsh lands, where it won’t be able to be removed.
My rant has turned into bitching.
I guess the take away here is this: even if it’s in the news less, it hasn’t gone away. It’s a serious situation. And remember it when gas prices go up to $5 a gallon again.
Seymour and Marielle making some love.
This story’s almost over, and then there will be some important announcements! Stay tuned!
Cyphan this past weekend was a blast, and it was also a fun time to premiere the new camera (the pictures from this and the previous page were taken with it). It got to play and experiment and try new things with it – and figure out how the thing works.
You’d think, “Come on, dude. It’s a camera. Point and shoot.” But that’s not right at all.
I was trying to do a lot of manual focusing with the camera, but the problem with that it two fold:
1) I wear glasses
2) I think the image is in focus, but when you look at the 15megapixel glory on the computer screen, you find that it’s not
Auto-focus for me for a while, I think. Until I get the hang of it.
But I digress. Have a great 4th of July, everyone, and I’ll catch you next week for more Temple and @$$hole!