Archive for September, 2010
4 items.
Movie Review: GI Joe The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Director: Stephen Sommers
Cast: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, Byung-hun Lee, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Channing Tatum, Arnold Vosloo, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid
Plot: After an opening sequence that doesn’t make much sense and really has no bearing on the plot of the movie, a loose story is put together where a mysterious group of armored soldiers lead by a chick in a cat suit and glasses try to steal nano-warheads that can eat anything…until you deactivate them. With a device. That fits well on a hip in close ups.
Basically there is no plot to the movie, but there are some fun action sequences. And that’s about the only good thing about the movie. Because the characters don’t make sense, and like the Transformers movies, basically the history of the characters and series has been thrown to the four winds. Also, Snake Eyes has a mouth. He still doesn’t talk, but he has a mouth on his face mask. I’m sure the same idiot who thought it would be a good idea to give Optimus Prime a mouth wanted to give Snake Eyes a mouth too. The reason I heard was because “it humanizes the character better.” I mean, 20+ years of the cartoon shot and countless comic books didn’t allow the character to be humanized in the eyes of the audience.
By the same logic, a blind character wouldn’t be able to be humanized. But I digress, it’s stupid logic and a poor decision.
But the point of the movie, like the point of the cartoon, is to make toys and sell them to kids. And Stephen Sommers, say what you will about the movies he directs, have some fun and exciting action sequences. Like X-Men 3, I think the director of this flick got a lot of crap because his name is front and center on the picture. It’s not the directing that made this flick terrible – it was the writing.
Creative Writing 101 mistakes are rampant throughout this flick, from the cheesy dialogue to the terrible characterization. In fact the only performance that shines through is from the Waynes brother. And I guess Dennis Quaid does a decent job of playing General Hawk. But there are really no memorable character moments in the flick – or any snappy one liners. The best exchange of dialogue between hero and villain is this:
Bad Guy: “I’m going to make you very unhappy.”
Good Guy: “I’m already unhappy.”
Yeah, and the dialogue only gets worse from there.
My recommendation: If you’re drunk and need something to watch, fast forward through any scenes that don’t have ass kicking and enjoy the high octane chase scenes through the streets of Paris in the Master Chief armor. Because seriously, the designs for the movie looks like they were recycled from xbox video games…..
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Movie Review: King of Kong Fistful of Quarters (2007)
Director: Seth Gordon
Cast: Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Walter Day
Plot: Donkey Kong, one of the most famous (and most difficult) video games of all time. This documentary is about the World Record of the highest score of the hardest arcade video game – and one man’s journey to achieve it.
In 1982 the highest score in Donkey Kong was awarded to Billy Mitchell – competitive gamer and restaurant owner – which was over 800,000 points. The second highest score was achieved in 2001, and was almost 300,000 points lower. Since that time, a foundation called Twin Galaxies has become the official record keeper of all things video game scores, and have even partnered with the Guinness Books of World Record. Billy Mitchell has become a member of Twin Galaxies and advocate for awards to be given to gamers who compete and play in public.
Steve Wiebe lost his job and needed to find purpose. He bought an arcade of Donkey Kong and started recording himself playing, in the hopes he would beat the world record. And he did. Over a million points! Upon sending the tape into Twin Galaxies, the group sent out people to take apart his machine, suspecting fraud. Ultimately they declared the score didn’t count, because it wasn’t done live.
So Steve enters a professional gaming tournement, and scores over 900,000 points. However, Billy Mitchell submits a video where he wins over a million points, and so the World Record remains with Billy. And so the drama of the movie continues to unfold.
I watched King of Kong with my buddy Josh – two comic nerds and video game lovers – who were completely enthralled in the plot of the flick. It shows what every Halo match online proves – there are douche bags who play video games. And while the audacity of the organization and the journey that Steve has to go through is compelling and incredible to watch, it’s also a little sad.
To me, video games have been a cultural experience. Something to be shared with friends, enjoyed by yourself, and something that challenges you to get to the next level. It develops eye hand coordination, and can be used as a learning tool. Let me give you an example: My little brother and I didn’t always see eye to eye while we were growing up, but when the opportunity arose to pool our money to purchase our first video game system (Super Nintendo), we jumped on it. But we had to establish a set of rules so no one hogged the system. We crafted a two-page set of rules for how we would give the other person their turn.
Plus, video games of past involved a lot of reading and puzzle solving.
But then you get the competitive jerks who aren’t satisfied by just playing a game – they have to defeat someone and be the best at it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to competition. I’m just opposed to douche bags. And sadly, the competitive nature of some video games has acted as a welcome mat in front of an open door for douche bags to push and shove and force their way in. Suddenly the video game party is filled with popped collars and keggers.
I exaggerate for dramatic and comedic effect, but still – this movie shows that it’s not exactly far from the truth.
Even if you don’t like video games or know anything about Donkey Kong, you totally need to watch this flick.