Movie Review: Splice
Movie Review: Splice (2009)
Director: Vincenzo Natali
Cast: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac, David Hewlett
Plot: Clive (Brody) and Elsa (Polley) are genetic scientists that are working on a “protein being” that could cure a bunch of diseases. The blog of proteins is very expensive, however, and they want to try human testing – which is a big no-no.
So, of course, they do it anyway. Combining the research from the protein being with human DNA, they create a half penis-head, half girl with dinosaur legs named “Dren.” Which is “nerd” backwards. However, if they were real nerds, then they would know that “dren” is the Farscape word for “shit,” which is exactly what this movie was.
Suffice it to say, they break the rules of science and the morals of mankind, and in the end they get screwed for it. One of them, literally. But I’ll go into that in the spoilers section below.
This movie wanted to be smarter than it was, but unfortunately breezed past all the science stuff (using techno-babble instead of actually explaining the science of splicing to the audience). Then it tried telling a human story about a man and a woman who worked together and were in love. But eventually that fell by the wayside as well once the creature comes into the flick. Once that happens, it becomes a semi-horror flick with the humans riding a teeter-totter of “should we kill it, or should we see where this goes?” Then they decide to hide the thing in a farm house which once belonged to Polley’s character, and she suddenly becomes this frightening monster of a person. Then Brody has sex with it…because, let’s face it – even science guys need to get their nut off, and why not screw your science experiment?
Then some freak thing happens where the science experiment dies, comes back to life as a man, kills all the other dudes, and rapes Polley.
Then she decides to carry the baby to term. Studio execs pray for sequel. Roll credits.
Yeah, it’s awful.
Nevermind the fact that rape itself is a very uncomfortable topic for me, but the fact that a series of random things happen at the end leading up to it that make no sense, and there’s no explanation for it. On top of the fact that the movie lacks any kind of direction. It wants to be a science movie, it wants to be a horror movie, it wants to be a weird Species flick where the monster has sex with everything that moves….
But at least Species was consistent with its direction. It’s an alien monster that wants to breed. Man vs Nature / Monster. Okay, makes sense.
Splice has Brody trying to drown the thing, then he’s okay with the fact that it lived. Then they take it to a farm and Polley’s this freaky “tortured soul” character because her mother was abusive, and she tortures Dren/Shit both physical and psychologically. Then Brody bangs the science experiment. Then the whole “death and resurrection – and oh, I’m a man now” happens.
Seriously, I’m not following this movie at all. And didn’t enjoy watching it.
Basically, I can sum up this movie in one word, and it’s the name of one of the characters: “Dren.”
My recommendation: avoid Splice at all costs. Instead, watch Farscape. It’s tons better.
