Movie Review: Matchete

Movie Review: Matchete (2010)
Director: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Savini
Plot: The trailer parody from the Grindhouse movie was made into a feature-length flick, and it’s definitely worth watching. If you like hyper-violence, little plot, lots of boobies, and some cheesy sequences. Not to say any of those things are bad – but you’ll definitely notice the flick is almost a parody of itself. And, in my opinion, it worked.

The story follows Machete (Trejo), an ex-Federale who illegally comes over to the US after drug lord Rogelio Torrez (Seagal) kills his family. Machete gets caught up in a government conspiracy to re-elect a racist politician, Senator John McLaughlin (De Niro), who is trying to build a fence along the US border so he can control the flow of illegal workers.

Along the way, Machete teams up with Luz (Rodriguez), a female freedom fighter who also operates a taco stand; Agent Sartana (Alba), who’s trying to stop illegal immigration…but eventually joins the side of the Mexican workers; Padre (Marin), his priest brother who has a lot of guns.

If you want to see Danny Trejo kill every dude in the most violent way possible, sleep with every girl (and I mean EVERY girl) including Lindsay Lohan, and basically be an all-around Hollywood bad ass, then you should see this flick.

And if your answer to any of the above is “no,” then you didn’t see the trailer from Grindhouse where he puts a Gatling gun on top of a motorcycle and kills a bunch of fools. Seriously dude, you want to see this movie.

WARNING: VIDEO FOR ADULTS ONLY

From the point of substance, there’s a lot of gratuity in this flick – buckets of blood, and just about every female character gets naked at some point. I was surprised to see Linsday Lohan running around in the buff, and a shower scene with Jessica Alba is very out of character for her. The violence is over-the-top, and the opening scene even has the old film grain added in for effect.

Overall, this flick was very enjoyable. Long, but very enjoyable. There’s not a lot of plot here, let’s make no mistakes about that. But there is a lot of gratuitous entertainment. And sometimes, that’s okay.

This movie is clearly a love letter to grindhouse movies of old. I admit, these flicks were before my time and I’ve only watched a handful of them, but this is very much a modern day grindhouse flick. And I’m okay with that. And would encourage them to make more. And, as it turns out, they are making a sequel (Machete Kills).

If you like gratuitous violence, a badass Danny Trejo kicking ass and taking names, and some fan service from some attractive ladies, you should check out this flick.