@$$hole!: Worst News EVER!

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So Transformers 3 has been filming downtown Chicago, and yesterday they shut down one of the main roads over by my office. We kept hearing the fake gunfire during the shoot, and saw tanks driving around. Perhaps they were robots in disguise…?

Transformers was a favorite cartoon of mine as a kid, and I own (and still watch) the animated movie. So I was naturally excited when they announced a live-action flick. And then the designs came out for the robots. And everything went downhill from there. The first movie was a mess even without the character designs being confusing, and the off-putting jokes stabbing at the original cartoon. What should have been a story about a boy and his first car – who just so happened to be a robot – had subplots about Pentagon hackers, soldiers, and other things that didn’t actually have any bearing on the story. The All-Spark was a mess of a plot device, and the action was – I thought – very boring.

But my opinion didn’t matter, because enough people enjoyed it to make enough money so it warranted a second one. Revenge of the Fallen was even worse than the first movie – and even people who enjoyed it for the action scenes admit that the plot was something 5 children wrote in separate rooms without any way to communicate with each other. It makes NO SENSE what-so-ever. Plus, they added the racist stereotype Autobots, and Devistator with robo-balls. I’ve even poked fun at this in a a comic last year.

I also predicted, based on the commercial success of the second flick, that an inevitable third movie would come to pass. I called this monstrosity “Transformers 3: The Death of my Childhood.” Well, it appears that movie is being filmed right now…and in my own back yard, no less.

Whether you enjoyed the live-action flicks or not is moot. Enough people did that the almighty dollar spoke and wheels started turning and another movie went into production. So I thought it would be fun to say that someone in Hollywood actually heard my cries of terror at this prospect, and decided to stick it to me by filming the thing in my new town.

I would implore you to boycott the movie in a futile effort to stick it to Hollywood and whatever idiot got paid money for writing the sloppy mess that was the first two movies, but I know it wouldn’t make a difference. I’m sure something better will be in theaters, though, so I encourage you to at least go see that first.

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