@$$hole!: Why Am I Single, Again?

 In web comics

Another profile steal (and the return of shirtless Trevor, sporting my Halloween get-up from 2008 as Spider from Transmetropolitan). But my 3-month experiment on match.com is about to come to a close, and it’s dangerously close to being an expensive failure. Like my previous experiences with online dating, there’s a whole lot of sending e-mails out and never hearing back. I don’t know if the women aren’t reading them, the women are reading them and ignoring me, or the profiles aren’t actually people at all.

In a numbers game, you’d imagine that at least 10% of the people you e-mail would return the message in some way. In the 3 months I’ve been on the site I’ve e-mailed over 300 women. I’ve heard back from 4 people.

1) “We’d be a great match, but I’m moving away tomorrow.” – yeah, she didn’t move. Or she didn’t update her profile location.
2) “My profile is ending, e-mail me here.” – So I do. And I don’t hear back.
3) “My profile is ending, e-mail me here.” – So I do, and we exchange a few e-mails. Then she drops off the face of the earth.
4) “Go f- yourself.” – Her profile then later said that she hated when people didn’t read her profile, which said that she was 33, and then her profile description said that she was 39…go figure.

I’ve met people at conventions and whatnot that have had a lot of success with online dating, and that’s always encouraging to me. So I keep trying. I’m going to give another site a shot, but I’m not encouraged.

I’ve been wracking my brain thinking about where to meet a girl that I’d get along with. I have no desire to meet someone at a bar (or god forbid, a club), but the benefit there is that you at least know that the girl is over 21. But the places where I would meet a girl I think would have similar interests include: conventions, comic stores, book stores, library, or maybe a movie theater.

But the important thing to take away from this is that you’re not going to meet anyone sitting at home playing video games. Going out, putting yourself into a position to meet someone – that’s an important first step. It’s summertime in Chicago, and I’ve been going out to meet single ladies. Sadly, while I’m looking for them at the bookstore, they all appear to be at the beach.

And I sunburn easily. 😛

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Showing 3 comments
  • Andy O

    Hey dude, I know the last thing you may want is more encouragement to keep at it, but as a wedding videographer, I’ve now met four couples who met online and they may have been some of the happiest couples I’ve met. 3 of the 4 met on eharmony. They said it REALLY made them stop and re-think themselves and what they want in a relationship. LOTS of information to fill out, and yes they deny people on occasion who they see as abusing the site or not seriously interested…so if you’re up for being even more vulnerable…give it a shot.
    Unless of course you already have and I’m just coming off like an ignorant jackass…which is always a possibility. 🙂 Keep your chin up man!

  • Misty Kaye

    It’s just one of those sad facts that women on online dating sites are bombarded with messages so that most men don’t get a reply. We just don’t have time to reply to everyone. Some of us don’t even have time to reply to all of the interesting ones and therefore only a few of the -most- interesting get a response. So yeah, I can see why you’d get discouraged with online dating. So I guess the best thing you can do is try to raise your game a little. Make sure the message you’re sending to these girls is something that will stand out from all of the other dull, illiterate, or downright offensive messages they’re getting. Yes, be SURE to read her profile, and include some things in your message that show that you did. Do NOT send the same standard message to every girl. We can tell when you’re cutting and pasting a form email to us, and it’s really annoying.

  • trevor

    @Andy: I’m not giving up on it, but 3 years of free online dating has not paned out well for me. And 3 months of paid online dating hasn’t yielded a different experience. Expect that I’ve paid for it. I mean, that’s money could’ve been spent on a date…or a video game. 😛

    But yes, I plan to keep at it. Just thinking about changing my game. The online thing isn’t working for me very well, so after I give eharmony a shot I’m going to have to come up with a different strategy entirely. I’ve met several people at conventions as well who met online and are very happy couples – which is fantastic and encouraging. And I certainly appreciate your encouragement as well, my friend.

    @Misty: Yup, I’m fully aware that online dating is a different game entirely for women. They get bombarded with e-mails – most of which are HILARIOUS in how insulting they can be – where as a guy is typically pretty enthused just to get a “no thanks” e-mail. Hey, at least someone read what I wrote, right?

    Every e-mail I sent on match.com (all 300+ of them) was custom made – with a little copy / paste about myself only. Questions were tailored to their interests or pictures or whatever. But it just seems like a lot of work for very little reward. Maybe that’s what dating is all about – when you work for it, it’s that much sweeter when you finally find what you’re looking for? But I can honestly say that the effort is being put in there.

    I appreciate the advice, though, and encourage anyone trying online dating to do the same. Take it to heart, gents!

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